You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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