Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize