Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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