I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I understand Curling. That high.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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