Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
