Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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