Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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