Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
