I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
worst night to have a conscience
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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