I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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