Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This house was built for laser tag.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
