just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
