You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
false alarm, still single
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
