I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
How drunk are you?
Completed.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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