hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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