Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize