he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
