she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize