Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
