No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
