I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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