You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
