I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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