Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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