dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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