I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
