It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
