Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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