I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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