Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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