I want to stick my p in your. b.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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