3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
