Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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