Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
