At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
