If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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