Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
