Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
