He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize