This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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