k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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