He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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