your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
