I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The power of my boobs compel you
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
