i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
