I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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