The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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