Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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