i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
