their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
