In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
