everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
