I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
