Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize