i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I am one with the molecules
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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