I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
