Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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