i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize