we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
