when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
